My family and I have spent the last 5 days sick. My husband, who never succumbs to illness rode the couch for 3 days. It's been a thoroughly fantastically sick time. Of course, I am thinking "What did we do to deserve this? Haven't I been doing everything right? How could I let this happen?" Yup, all ego. This is the thing - God showed all 5 of us in a very big way that we were out of balance. We've been sloppy, letting too many little unhealthy things get in the way and build up.One of the biggest things this illness has shown be is the blessing we have to be grateful for and what is really important. It has been an exercise in letting go of what I think I want and surrendering completely to the NOW. It's been a great time, albeit we've been coughing alot. We've spent so much time together wrapped up in blankets and coughing our heads off.
The true pearl I've gained from all of this is inner peace. A constant knowing that all unfolds perfectly according to God. All I can do is put out my intention, without attachment, and watch how God delivers it. When you put out the intentions I do, sometimes it requires going to really dark places within. Not by choice, it's just where I'm led by the Spirit. I figured this out after reading a Bible scripture yesterday that Jesus was "led by the Holy Spirit into the dessert for 40 days." It was not his human choice. He was tended to by angels and beasts as he was led to this dark place within to deal with 'satan'. Satan is not a thing, but a piece of us which we all have. I've concluded that it is my ego.
Instead of trying to live in duality of ego vs. soul, the key is recognizing the ego and making the choice to follow it or the soul. Recognizing it, bringing it to light, allowing the dark feelings, attitudes, and anger out. Giving it truth. Speaking it's name and releasing it without attachment. Then embrace this ego along with your soul and you become a more peaceful image of yourself. Or, you can succomb to it's temptations for glory, richess, fame and try to feed an insatiable beast.
I've been shown once again that this existence is about balance of all aspects of self. Acid vs. alkaline, oxygen vs. carbon dioxide, ego vs. self, light vs. dark, cold vs. hot, rest vs. activity. If anything is out of balance in any area - mental, emotional, physical or spiritual - it will manifest somehow and somewhere. I'm lucky, God communicates to me through physical health. I see the signs now... my back was aching for 2 weeks prior, the cold weather has put a damper on my exercise pattern, I was snacking on 'treats' way too much, allowing ego to run rampant and WA-LA; sickness! It's a beautiful thing to look back on and realize. Now that I see it, could I have stopped it? Maybe. Would I have? I can't answer that. For all the darkness I've seen and experienced, I've also seen the light on the other side. And each time I see the light it gets brighter and bigger. Isn't that what our souls are here to do - experience dark and light? For how would God know himself if not through our experience. And how would we know ourselves if not for the dark and the light. It's all relative.
I'm so grateful to have learned so much in such a short time. Once I verbalized all the dark, I felt better, I let it all out and gave it to God. Now, there is so much peace. And, I have a ton of material for a new Series of classes I'm beginning with a collegue. Yeah baby!
Check out the Soul Series: Practical Discernment. Would love to see you there!
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