Be Real: The Art of Mindfulness

Be mindful. I've heard this before and had no idea what it meant, until now.

Watch what you say or think. Be mindful with your words, for they are prayers... I've spent the better part of this summer reading about spiritual practices - including Eastern and Western religions. What I've found to be most fascinating is the Buddist practice of mindfulness. I actually made it half way through one of my books and had to put it down because I wasn't getting it. Then, the Holy Spirit led me to a used book store and I found a book about How to be Happy. Now I get it.

Mindfulness is nothing more than watching your thoughts as an observer in your own mind. You watch your thinking instead of taking part in it. It's as if you are disconnected from the thought and watching it as an entity on it's own. When you can separate yourself from the thought, you can see it for what it is and decide if it's worth pursuing. The beauty of this is that you don't have to stop negative thoughts, just watch them and realize it's nothing more than a bad channel you can change. Like static on a radio station, negative thoughts just cloud full connection with Divinity.

As I've been able to watch my own thoughts, doubts, low moods and high moods, I've been able to see myself separate from them. I can partake in life and let the uncertainty, any low self-confidence, and self-doubt be where it is and just walk away from it. It's like watching a trailer for a bad movie and saying, "I really don't want to watch that show" and flipping the channel. You can look at the thought and ask if it serves you or not. Some people love misery, some don't. Just look at it and don't be defined by it.

The Law of Attraction states that what we think, we become or we invite into our reality. For some time, I had been policing my thoughts and just 'canceling' any negative ones until one day, I fell into a terrible mood and had no idea why. I was doing everything right - what gives!? Well, I had fallen into defining myself completely on the fact that good thoughts mean I'm connected to God and well, bad thoughts mean I'm not. This is true to an extent, but diffusing the negativity was something different. When beginning to look at the thought as an observer, I was able to say - "Hey, that might be true, but it might not be also. I choose to err on the side of optimisim and let it go." The negative thought is just an erroneous belief system that requires release or reprogramming.

When it comes down to it, this life is relative reality. Where we come from is absolute reality. If this is just relative, we don't have to get caught up in the drama. We can look at the negative thoughts and realize these are just areas that are mistaken in their perception of the blessings in this life. Then we can cancel them out and choose the higher thought and speak the higher words.

Be joyful. That is your natural state. Anything less is a distraction...

Eat Real: Blueberries for the Brain

This little berry is a powerhouse of nutrition and healing. Something so simple, yet so powerful. You don't have to go to the Amazonian Rain Forest to get it either. It's right at the farmer's market and in season right now.

We are always looking to try something new and exciting in the middle of summer. Just like the middle of winter, we feel a little trapped by the heat. The kids have spent the last week getting to know some old books and new shows on TV. Instead of baking, we've decided to try visiting the farmer's market to see what's in season and do a little experimenting on our own.

What we noticed is that there are A LOT of blueberries out there. In fact, my kids have eaten so many, I'm waiting for one of them to turn into an Umpa Lumpa! They are so sweet, tasty and juicy right now. Go get yourself a pint or four!

Blueberries are powerful for a number of reasons, the main one being antioxidants. Vitamin 'P' as it's called refers to flavonoids. These are compounds that reside in plants naturally and give the plant and its fruit, medicinal properties. These compounds are what protect the plant and its fruit naturally. It's no wonder why it can protect us as well. All we have to do is eat it! The more colorful the food, the more flavonoids present. Within the flavonoid group is a category called polyphenols. Polyphenols protect the brain by preventing oxidative stress. This fruit is also part of a group of flavonoids call proanthocyanidins. "This group has the ability to protect both the watery and fatty parts of the brain against damage from some environmental toxins." Michelle Schoffro Cook, ND

This berry has greater concentration and antioxidant properties than just vitamins C and E alone. Blueberries are also anti-inflammatory. Inappropriate amounts of inflammation in the body contribute to pain and degeneration. Following an anti-inflammatory diet which includes blueberries can remedy pain in as little as 3 days.

Inflammation, cognitive ability and aging skin are directly related to an overabundance of free radicals in the system. Free radicals can be any toxin, environmental, emotional, or nutritional. The more antioxidants we ingest, the better chance our body has of protecting and regenerating itself from free-radical damage.

Quick Blueberry Smoothie:
1 bag frozen mango
1 bag frozen blueberries
1 tbsp. agave nectar
1/2 cup apple juice

Blend all in a blender and serve immediately or, freeze and use as a sorbet.

Uses for Blueberries:
Toss them on salads
Make blueberry pancakes
Make Smoothies or Sorbets
Put them on top of oatmeal
or my personal favorite - by the handful!

Health Benefits:
They are a natural diuretic - helping summer water weight disappear. (I ate a ton while pregnant in the summer - works wonders!)
Help restore and improve cognitive function.
Slows vision loss.
Helps lower cholesterol
Helps with digestive issues

Hope you are enjoying the summer and staying cool!

Be Real: I Died Three Years Ago

This time of year has special significance to me. Today, July 10th is especially poignant. Today is my third son's birthday. It is when I decided, three years ago, to change my life for myself, by myself. The little one is 4 today. He slept in (almost unheard of) and spent a lazy day watching movies and going to Target. We made cupcakes, but he fell asleep!

As I sat eating dinner alone (a special treat), some thoughts came to me... Three years ago, I was overweight, had high cholesterol, depression, my mother was sick with shingles in Connecticut and I was still nursing a baby. Three years ago, I heard a voice come up from deep within me and it rested in my head. I heard it as I was returning from a walk with the three kids during the hot summer of the South. Worried sick about my mom, hot from the weather, frustrated with life in general - it came through clear as a bell. The voice said, "If you can't take care of yourself, how will you take care of anyone else. You know what to do, just do it."

That day, my life changed. I actually died and was reborn. The Holy Spirit transformed me immediately. I did everything possible to learn how to help my mom from a far. I started eating huge salads everyday. I walked, ran and did jumping jacks every day. I moved as much as my body would let me (as much as it hurt). To my surprise, I started loosing weight and feeling better. Now, three years later, I see that the answers are simple. So simple, it's almost sickening... eat real food, not a lot, exercise, sleep and rely on God to help you as you help yourself.

It was common place to spend close to $7K every year in out of pocket health expenses, for my kids to be routinely sick, for me to be routinely depressed and negative, to not understand how crap seemed to keep happening or finding us. I was asleep, ignorant, and stuck in my own sh*t.

That girl, that woman just didn't know that God really existed. She didn't know that this body is a costume carrying a holy host. She didn't understand. She wanted to, but until that breaking point came - the day she could not call on her mom to fly down and bail her out because her mom was too sick - that day when she had to rely on herself and no one else with three little kids looking up to her - that day when she said "How can I do this, who will help me, how is it possible?" and the answers came loud and clear. They almost knocked her on her butt. That day (that run on sentence), she surrendered to God. She gave up and realized she couldn't do it alone and the only strength she had was what was in her and it was not her strength, but His. She died and a new woman was born.

You couldn't have told me any of this, I wouldn't have listened or I might have cried. In fact, I'd heard all of it my whole life and didn't listen. Many doctors, friends and family offered advice and support, but until that breaking point and I heard it from God - that voice within, did I take action. All those events were signs, messages to change. All the negativity, sickness and sadness were indications of being grossly disconnected from Source/God/Truth. I bless it all and thank the Universe for these lessons which propelled me in the direction of light instead of darkness.

Life is 'freaking awesome'! I had no idea it could be this much fun! Maybe I did, but had forgotten...

Listen to the voice within you. Seek your own answers. Trust your feelings. Decide for yourself. Follow guidance. You have all the power to change your life.

Be Real: Shells

I took the kids to the beach for a couple of days in April. It was fascinating to watch them pick up shells. My middle son filled his shirt with them. When the little one's hands were full he started giving them to me. At that moment I thought, "That's your stuff, why am I carrying it? I don't want the shells." I held them, of course, because I'm his mother. But, it got me to hearing (not thinking)... "This is part of life, there's always more and people usually want more. You can carry your own stuff and/or you can carry others stuff. The more stuff you have, the more the stuff controls you. " Basically, the things in our lives are transient. So are the people, to an extent. We help each other remember who we are, but we sometimes get caught in looking to others to define us. The bag became heavier and I had to cut our walk short. Talk about being controlled by stuff!

What in life are you carrying? Does it belong to you or someone else? Can you give it back to them? Is there drama? What in your life can you live without? Can you drop it? I mean really live without it. That may be the very thing that is holding you back from moving forward. You might think it's holding you back from more or better stuff, but what if it's holding you back from inner peace, happiness, joy? In this moment, what will really make you happy? Can you trust Source/God/Universe to take care of it for you? This unwavering trust is what the mystics call faith.

Stuff takes up space, and space is what we are in most need of. Space is time, silence, and peace - a connection to Source. Ask yourself if you are in alignment with Source. It's the same as saying you're in alignment with God. How good do you feel? Are you looking to someone or something else to fulfill you rather than looking within? How easy is it for you to let go of control?

I've realized, so often we look to others or things to define who we are. If people respond appreciatively, then we decide we are doing a good job. If they respond negatively, then we beat ourselves up. All that really matters is that we be 'right' with ourselves before interacting with anyone. When we are right with who we are, we are right with God and that is all that matters. Stand in your integrity.

Every time we look to someone else to reward us with feedback, we are giving our power away. We are allowing them to define who we are rather than doing it for ourselves. And we are robbing ourselves of the opportunities for growth. So often, what we think others think of us, holds us back from being the incredible asset we really are. Isn't is so much more empowering to help others stand on their own two feet? You have so much to offer the world and you have your own version that no one else has.

The shells made my son happy for the moment and a whole bag came home from the beach with us. It sat in the garage for 2 weeks before I put them in the yard. The joy was in the getting, not in the keeping. The joy was in the experience and not in the having. Maybe this post is about shells, stuff, faith or power. However you look at it, is up to you. Release yourself from your burdens and dump your bag in the yard.

Eat Real: Walk the Talk

The word 'exercise' has a bad rap. There is so much baggage wrapped around it. Are we doing enough of it, are we doing it the right way. I heard muscle weighs more than fat... You should measure inches and not weigh yourself. Yoga, running, strength training... I need different shoes for each - or none in some cases. Do I have the right equipment, the right gym, the right trainer? Do I hire a trainer?

How about these for excuses... I'm too busy. My foot hurts. My priority is the family and I can't fit it into my day. I need special shoes for that. The gym membership is too much. It's too hot. It's too cold. It's too dark. It's too sunny. I know you have a list a mile long. And there is always one more to add to it!

Are your excuses helping or hurting you? It doesn't really matter what you do or when you do it if you are already riding the couch. You have shoes, there's the door, go outside and walk.

Just start walking. Eventually, the walking will get easier and you'll go longer distances. Pay attention to your body. It wants to move and needs time to acclimate. If it hurts, stop. If you walk 5 or 10 minutes and you usually don't walk, that is a HUGE accomplishment.

Just 30 minutes everyday will do wonders for your health. "From the perspective of prevention, it appears that the 30 minutes per day will keep most people from gaining the additional weight associated with inactivity," said Cris Slentz, Ph.D of the Duke University research team in a news release. It reduces cancer risks, helps you sleep better and improves your mood. Check out this article through CNN.

A pill isn't going to fix your life forever. You have to do it. You CAN do it!
The best solutions are simple:
1. Drink water (and lots of it).
2. Eat real, whole food (and not too much of it.)
3. Get up and move - as much as your body lets you.
4. Sleep

Here are some of my tips for exercising while taking care of a family:
1. Put the big kids on bikes and the little one(s) in a stroller.
2. Get up earlier than everyone else and walk. You'll get home before they wake up.
3. Walk by yourself after dinner if a spouse is home.
4. Walk around the playground while they play.
5. Walk up and down the street in front of the house while they nap.

I've walked in the wee hours of the morning with crying children who couldn't be comforted. I've walked late at night when my husband was working 24 hr shifts with 2 children asleep in a stroller. They were bundled with blankets and hats in the cold winter. I've walked at 5 am on hot summer days before they all wake up. I've walked barefoot, with running shoes and crocs. I've walked alone, with company, pregnant, sick, hurt, depressed, angry, happy, fat, thin, grieving and under any other circumstance that came my way. Be grateful for the gift of legs that work and the ability to walk.

If I can do it, so can you. Stop with the excuses and start moving in any way your body will let you.

(As always, check with a medical professional before starting an exercise routine. But don't use this as a cop-out!)

Be Real: Fat Lip, Black Eye & Stories

It's only been our 2nd full week of vacation and already my second son has a fat lip and a black eye. What's the story you ask? He ran into a pole at basketball and fell off his little brother's bike with training wheels. Doesn't sound to exciting does it?

My husband has decided he would tell everyone he got beat up by a 4 yr old girl. My son is cool with that. He knows dad is just teasing. His older brother has decided a Star Wars story about how he looks would be good. And the little one could care less. He just wants to wear a cowboy hat and run around with his pants off. Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.

I share these stories with you because this has shown me, in a very real way, how we are all just stories. We wear these costumes called bodies and we play a part in a story. When I was little, the soap operas were called stories. We can choose to play the victim and blame others for our issues. We can choose to play the heroine and save everyone else. We can be a martyr and sacrifice ourselves or we can be an observer. The parts we choose to play are endless.

These roles are dictated by our choices. We choose to put ourselves in situations to have an experience. How we react to the experience defines our role and how we define ourselves.

Here's another story for you... We were at the pool with some friends from school and some older kids decided to 'attack' my group of kids by throwing popsicles and popcorn and squiritng them with water guns while they were harmlessly playing. My role was to go over, tear them a 'new one' and 'save' my group of boys. Not what I had in mind for our pool trip, but God obviously needed me to learn something and these kids provided the scene in which to do it. My kids were good after it was all said and done. Yet another chance to expand and choose light. Am I going to rant and rave about it, or say we need to pray for these kids because they obviously need help making choices. One, might ask, "what did you do to attract this?" Can't say that I know, all I know is that God provides me the words and I deliver the message - even if I'm yelling it at strangers.

We teach each other through example or in direct, interactive ways. We must remember to love each other through the teaching, because we are really just helping each other figure things out and discover another part of who we really are.

My group of kids decided they were tough and 'saved' each other because they could have died. Ha! Talk about a story. One more lesson provided by a group of souls that love us.

So, I ask you today, what story are you creating for your life? Are you going to keep looking back at what could have been or are you going to bless the experiences you've had because they've shaped you into the incredible person you are today? Are you going to play the part of a victim or a loving, willing participant in life?

Just get up, dust yourself off and live life to the best of your ability. YOU are a work in progress. We all are. Let's have some fun while we are here and help each other out on the way. We are ALL children of God. We are ALL brothers and sisters. We are all part of the one soul - the body of Christ.

Be Real: When Life Gives You Lemons...

You make lemonade, right?

I had to get over myself today. My kids wanted to do a lemonade stand. Oh man! I could hear my parents - "No, we don't do that sort of thing." Well, guess what? We did it! They were out for 2 hours and sold out 3 pitchers of lemonade. They made $29.20! (The little one drank most of the first pitcher's profits.) After 5 glasses, he came home walking all drunk and complaining of drinking too much lemonade. He's been coasting all night. They had a great time! So did I.

They are learning early about selection instead of rejection. Plenty of people have passed them by and thankfully, not run them over. Some have offered smiles, statements of not having money and some have actually diverted their eyes and intentionally looked away. This is so funny to me, now. It wasn't always. There was a time when I felt rejection as if something was wrong with me if someone chose not to work with me. If something didn't go exactly the way I envisioned, then all was lost. Oh, how mistaken was that thinking!

My kids don't think anything is wrong with them or anyone else and they get that it's not about them. They don't take any of it personally. They are all about the fun, the money and they are focusing on all the cool people who have supported their lemonade stand... The lady that gave them $2, because she's allergic to lemons but wanted them to have some, Mr. Steve who gave them a tip and the 3 girls on bikes who said they were coming back. Oh yes, don't forget the Domino's Pizza guy who bought some and he looked like a NASCAR driver. The kids keep smiling and waving no matter who buys or not. Something we could all do.

What a lesson to us all - especially their mother. It's not about me (or them), it's about the experience. As long as I'm happy, in integrity and doing my best, so what about everyone else. That's what my kids have taught me tonight. They've shown me once again that fear is really an illusion. Taking anything personally is a deception of self. Now I know why God has loaned them to me. Children are our greatest teachers. I'm so grateful to have had this teaching from three little people.

By the way, let us not forget the incredible health benefits and healing power of lemons. I thought it ironic that the Domino's Pizza Guy was drinking homemade, organic lemonade! With actual real lemons! Lemons are incredibly rich in vitamin C. In fact, just one lemon can meet your vitamin C needs for the day. They are also alkalizing for the body. The body wants to be in a state of neutrality, or balance. Neither too alkaline or too acidic. Lemons, although acidic on the outside are alkaline on the inside of our bodies. So, adding freshly squeezed lemon to your day can offset the affects of poor food choices, stress and environmental toxins. It's great to start your day with a cup of warm water and the juice of 1 freshly squeezed lemon.

Homemade Lemonade:
3 lemons
1 pitcher of water (1/2 to 1 gallon)
1-2 tbsp. organic cane sugar or a dropperful of Stevia

Directions:
Juice or squeeze the lemons. Boil 1/2 cup of water and add the sugar to it to make sugar water. Once the sugar has dissolved, add it and the lemon juice to the remainder of the water. Chill and add ice for affect. If you have mint in your yard (as we do), take a few sprigs and add it to the pitcher. It makes for a nice affect.

There's only selection. Rejection is an illusion. Just remember to smile and wave...